You’ve seen it all over the internet: girl dinner, girl math, girl logic, and my personal favourite, girl bosses. Recently, women have been having their moment, publicly, and as per the definition of the word itself, girlhood, in all its glory, has become increasingly relatable. This topic has become relatable because girls are ‘girling’ by sharing these stories with each other and noticing that there is not only power in numbers, but also an untethered force in femininity.
I’ve always felt most powerful and confident as a little girl, like as a young figure skater wearing pink dresses and sparkly gold blade covers.
Or in elementary school, I had 4 different Hello Kitty pencil cases on me at all times. I’d lay them out on my desk and place my mechanical pencils and pens right above my notebook. I also vividly remember moments like these with my mom, who’s the most powerful, stylish and feminine woman I know.
Then somewhere between the ages of 12 and 13 I started overthinking the things that made me ‘me’. And when I graduated and got my first full time job, I was afraid to show where I came from, to show who I was, to show my style, to be girly, etc. I was afraid it would work against me, because that’s what I was taught, that is what the world teaches you: that being feminine is weak and dramatic.
Whether it be the movies we watch or the music we listen to, women are often if not always hyper sexualized. Being a woman often correlates with being sexy: the tight pencil skirt, clevage and stilettos, I never liked wearing that. I always loved, even as an adult, wearing the things I liked as a kid, like tutus. I often even found myself shopping in the kids section because I could only find pieces that spoke to me there.
So how do I channel my feminine side in the workplace? It starts with being the girl my parents taught me to be: assertive but always polite, hard working but only ever competing with myself. It continues with redefining what a woman’s role is in the corporate world, and it isn’t only to be an administrative assistant, marketing associate (for a man), or whatever the roles women, according to men, are supposed to have - and I don’t mean that in a ‘women are stuck in a box men created’ kind of way or that having those jobs somehow is negative. Until less than 50 years ago, women who occupied the roles they do now were few if not none. In some way, we are redefining all while defining what it means to be a girl boss and I find that so empowering. See it like this, whatever all these guys we work with have been doing for the past couple of decades, we get to swoop in and add our twist. Kind of like what I did when I was trying to be a skater girl.
It is very difficult to carve your way when there are few if not no women occupying the roles you maybe want. What I do recommend is not being afraid to be first or one of few - you’ll regret holding yourself back if you let the fear get to you. It is also alright to change, change your mind, outlook, jobs, you’re only limited to the box you put yourself in. I do like to remind myself of my attitude when learning the figure skating toe loop or how to do basic math, I was not scared, okay maybe I was a bit, but mostly, I was excited. Whenever I get scared to try something out at work, whether it be learning something new, asking for more exposure, more money, waking up and taking on a new day, I like to remind myself that the winning attitude is the one I described above - to walk into that room excited.
And of course, a cute outfit always helps, but as stylé chicks, you already knew that. And no, it won’t always work, sometimes and maybe even often, the divine pressure will get to you, like it gets to all of us, and that is alright. But just remember, chicks are taking over the world, and you get to be part of that…
Yours truly,
Taty
